Old Stuff

Criminalize Homeschooling

This great list is making the rounds of the homeschooling email groups.

WARNING: satire ahead

Memo: Top 10 Reasons to Criminalize Homeschooling

In an effort to increase the public drumbeat for criminalizing homeschooling, California Department of Education Deputy Superintendent Joanne Mendoza has distributed a memo containing the top 10 reasons why public schooling is better than homeschooling. Here is an excerpt from that memo:

Why Public Schooling Is Better Than Homeschooling

• Most parents were educated in the underfunded public school system, and so are not smart enough to homeschool their own children.
  
• Children who receive one-on-one homeschooling will learn more than others, giving them an unfair advantage in the marketplace. This is undemocratic.
  
• How can children learn to defend themselves unless they have to fight off bullies on a daily basis?
  
• Ridicule from other children is important to the socialization process.
  
• Children in public schools can get more practice "Just Saying No" to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.
  
• Fluorescent lighting may have significant health benefits.
  
• Publicly asking permission to go to the bathroom teaches young people their place in society.
  
• The fashion industry depends upon the peer pressure that only public schools can generate.
  
• Public schools foster cultural literacy, passing on important traditions like the singing of "Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg..."
  
• Homeschooled children may not learn important office career skills, like how to sit still for six hours straight.